I dream of ferrets

Frequently I have some really great dreams, and sometimes I have dreams about ferrets. Dreams about ferrets are bitter-sweet. I had two ferrets when I was little. One was a panda ferret--or champagne ferret--like the one you see to the right. The other was a sable ferret like the one you see below.

Whenever I have a dream about ferrets I wake up a little nostalgic, missing my ferrets. Then as I really wake up and remember taking care of them, I realize that no, I'd rather not have them anymore. Then, I invariably end with compassion toward my parents for being so patient and loving as to let their 13 yr old daughter keep 2 ferrets. Wow.


A lot of people have some preconceived notions about ferrets. I'd like to share my experience to clear up some rumors about ferrets that go around.

From all historical appearances, ferrets are not natural. Ferrets were created by combining different species (like weasels and pole-cats) a long time ago. Any ferrets found in the wild are descendants of those domesticated animals and after owning some myself, I have no idea how they could live in the wild. They're actually rather unintelligent animals. Between that and the absence of any 'natural' insticts, they have a lot of really intriguing characteristics.

Like I said, ferrets are not particularly bright. When they escape from their cages, they do not seek out food, they do not seek out shelter. They don't even sneak or hide like any normal animal might. They run about like a child that has just eaten half their bag of Halloween candy. Their mouths are wide open with their tongues hanging out and their eyes bright, innocent, and excited.

It is also commonly cited that ferret will take things and hide them away. This behavior is very curious. It has no rhyme nor reason and they don't do it in a secretive fashion at all. We frequently allowed the ferrets to run free throughout the house for several hours day. During this time they liked to be where we were. They also liked to secret things away. This could provide a lot of great entertainment.
As we sat on the couches talking, we would see the ferrets dart from underneath the couches into the middle of the room. There they would stand conspicuously looking about for something to fetch. Their decision seemed to have no basis. Sometimes they'd take a sock sitting on the floor, sometimes a newspaper, sometimes a blanket, and sometimes they'd try to drag a pillow 10 times their size underneath the couch.
They each seemed to have their favorite things to take. The two most favorite were chocolates (which usually meant a christmas stocking or two dissapearing each year) and soap. Needless to say, it was always an interesting discovery to find a new stash of items somewhere unexpected.

Another interesting characteristic is that they could get anywhere. They had no instinct for safe or not safe. You could watch them crawl underneath a dresser and moments later the top drawer would slide open and they would begin careening widely around the dresser top with make-up and earrings flying every which way. If they happened to knock over something that hit them on the way down, they would flip around and jump widely around like a rabid dog.

Our ferrets were never hostile. I heard that they bit Paul on the ear once (like an earring) but that is the only biting I ever heard about. Although very docile, their body odor was something to recon with. They don't spray like their other family members (skunks in particular) but their natural smells are enough to turn your stomach.

Although people say they can be trained, they would not use a litter box more than once before it has been cleaned out. The only other stipulation was that they had to use a corner when going to the restroom. This made it easier to find and harder to step on--a small consolation considering how often they go.

Looking back, they were endless laughs and loads of fun, but they smelt terrible and were uncontrollable pooping machines. Again, I say that if nothing else, the kindness of letting the children have ferrets will get my parents into heaven.